Craigslist Lover Page 6

  McKenzie had nothing to lose by telling Tee the truth.

  I have been touched, just not intimately.

  What the fuck does that mean Kenzie? Does your husband hit you?

  McKenzie thought long and hard about her answer. She needed to say it out loud: she was in an abusive relationship. As she typed the word, McKenzie mouthed, “Yes.”

  Usually, Tee answered back within seconds, but not this time. Why had she said yes? Maybe he didn’t want to deal with her now. Was Wayne right? Was she not enough even to chat with?

  Kenzie, babe you are enough… You need to get out.

  Her heart stopped, and then began to race.

  Please, don’t let that man kill you. You deserve so much more, beautiful. I’m in tears as I write this. Don’t let him convince you that no one else will ever love or want you. He’s not the only person in this world that cares for you, believe me. You can make it without him. You’re everything without a man that beats you. Think about your son.

  I am…

  How? Will you be thinking about him when you’re under ground? Who will protect him then? I know this goes against what we agreed upon, but sweetheart, if you ever need a place to run to, just say the word and I’ll be knocking at your front door. You and Caleb can hide here.

  He won’t kill me.

  Was she trying to convince, him, or herself?

  That’s what my aunt used to say before my uncle put a bullet in the middle of her head. Kenzie, he doesn’t have the right to lay his fucking hands on you, no matter what!

  I know.

  Then do something about it. We don’t know each other physically, but I do think we know each other in every other way. I can tell, you don’t take shit. Why are you still with a fool that causes you pain? Has he ever forced you to have sex?

  He’s my husband.

  It doesn’t fucking matter if he’s your husband. No is fucking no!

  I shouldn’t have mentioned it to you.

  Yes…you should have. I want you to tell me every time that bastard puts a fucking hand on you. I’m going to be your own personal diary, Kenzie. Don’t you dare consider stopping chatting with me because of him. I’m here for you.

  Tears rolled down her cheeks. Tee, a person she hadn’t met, had become her best friend. Was that how pathetic her life was? Her only friend was someone she never once seen. In the few months since they’d started chatting, Tee knew her more than anyone.

  Tee, I have to go.

  Beautiful, please don’t let me go. If you stop chatting with me, I’ll think something happened to you, and I won’t be able to forgive myself. Kenzie!

  McKenzie closed out the app, and contemplated uninstalling it. She didn’t want to say goodbye, against her better judgment she reopened the app, and typed.

  I’m so thankful for all the days you made me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry. You are my personal diary. Chat with you tomorrow.

  Thank God! Tonight, not tomorrow. Remember, God made a man’s hand to love his woman with, not to hurt her. See you later.

  A few minutes later Wayne called. “What’s taking you so long?”

  “The store was packed. I’m leaving as we speak.” McKenzie placed the gear in drive, and hurried out of the parking lot. She didn’t want to get an ass-whooping today; she was too tired. “See you in a bit,” she said, and hung up.

  ***

  Early the next day

  Good morning beautiful… I couldn’t sleep, thinking about you.

  I’m okay.

  McKenzie now regretted telling Tee what went on in her house. Was this what their chat would consist of now, her pathetic life?

  It doesn’t happen every day. Please don’t let this change our chats.

  When was the last time he hit you? Don’t lie, Kenzie.

  She needed to change the subject.

  Aren’t you supposed be getting ready for work?

  This is more important than fucking work. When?

  McKenzie closed her eyes and sighed. She could just ignore him and continue about with her morning, but he was just being a concerned friend.

  The night of his business dinner.

  Fuck, McKenzie… Are you okay?

  Yes. He only…

  She was about to say he only hits me when I do something wrong in his eyes, or he’s just having a bad day, but she stopped herself.

  Forget it. I’m fine.

  No you’re not. Where the fuck is your family!

  They don’t know.

  She couldn’t recall how many times she’d picked up the phone to call her parents and cry for help. Whenever she did, Wayne’s voice carried through her mind. He would hurt her before she even made it to the airport. He knew who she spoke or texted with, and always questioned her. Wayne would take away the only thing that kept her alive.

  I’m keeping it that way.

  Kenzie…

  Tee, I don’t want to talk about it. He hasn’t hit me since.

  After his mother had caught him about to choke her, like he had done multiple times, he’d backed off from physically hurting her, but not verbally.

  Since? It’s going to happen again. Get help.

  I can’t. He will hunt me down and I can’t take that chance with my baby. I have everything I need under this house.

  Except for a husband that loves you, and don’t tell me he loves you, because if he’s telling you with his fists, he’s doesn’t! When was the last time he told you he loved you?

  Is this what our chats are going to consist of?

  Wayne always threw those stupid three words at her every single time he assaulted her. Love didn’t mean shit to her, especially from a man.

  I’m just concerned about you. It seems like no one else is. Babe, he has control of everything you do. I’m your only outlet, and I will continue our chat relationship. I care about you! Don’t you get it by now?

  Relationship?

  McKenzie chuckled sarcastically.

  Yes… Six months of getting to know each other. This is more than a simple friendship. My cousin thinks I’m crazy.

  You told your cousin?

  Like you said… We will never see each other. Right?

  Oh I see.

  McKenzie could tell he was getting irritated with her.

  Those were your words, not mine. I’m so fucking frustrated, Kenzie. I want you to be safe and there’s nothing I can do but read your words on my fucking cell phone!

  If it’s that much of an issue then maybe we should end it.

  She didn’t want to end it. Tee was right he was her only outlet. He was her confidant, someone she could tell everything to, and he’d never once judged her until now. No one would ever understand why she stayed, except for her.

  Really! It’s not an issue. I love chatting with you. So, you want to end this because I care about you and your kid? Really! I think the people around you should pay closer attention and they would see a battered woman. No, I’m not giving up on you.

  McKenzie swallowed and didn’t reply. Right now he was acting just like Wayne, telling her what she should and shouldn’t do.

  Chat with you at lunch.

  She really liked Tee, but shit just got real. Had it been a mistake, telling him about all of her issues? McKenzie wasn’t ready to lose him, too. Wayne had already caused her to be distant with everyone and everything she cared about.

  McKenzie did her chores as usual and had laid down on the sofa to read as a message chimed in.

  You busy?

  I was just reading one of my nasty books, as you put it.

  She hoped this conversation would be their normal one, with no mention of Wayne.

  Lol, any juicy parts?

  Oh yes.

  McKenzie blushed, actually blushed.

  Please tell?

  He’s doing some passionate things to the heroine.

  The hero in the book was down on his knees in between the heroine’s legs, about to go down, when Tee’s message had come through.

  I’m living through her, lol.

  You shouldn’t.

  She sighed.

  Don’t start.

  Fine, Kenzie. How’s your day been so far?

  Now that I’m chatting with you great!

  I’m glad I make you happy.

  You do!

  She was the happiest when she chatted with Tee, and whenever she held her little boy.

  Caleb and you make it all better.

  Is he sleeping through the night yet?

  She chuckled. Tee remembered everything they ever chatted about, and that made her feelings for her Craigslist lover even deeper.

  Yes. I get to sleep through the night.

  I’m glad to hear. You need a break. Does he let you take a vacation to visit your parents?

  What’s a vacation? Lol

  Not funny. I hate this. I want to do more for you. Is it money? I’ll send you some.

  Tee! I’m done talking about him. This is supposed to be my escape from him, don’t mess that up.

  Urg… Fine. Chat with you later.

  I’m going out tonight. I won’t be able to chat.

  Okay…

  The part about going out was a lie, but she couldn’t handle him at the moment. He cared. She got it, but it didn’t change her situation. Wayne was a psycho.

  Okay… McKenzie stared at the word. Tee had never just said “okay” when she couldn’t chat. Normally, he’d say, “I’ll still send you a message.” Was she losing him, too?

  Chapter Eight

  McKenzie wasn’t having a good day. She took Caleb for a walk around the neighborhood. Her baby was getting so big: he was seven months already. Wayne had been busy at work lately, and not paying her much attention. He would leave early and arrive home late at night
. She wished he had a girlfriend. That would take him way more often. But Wayne wasn’t a cheater.

  Tee hadn’t sent her a message in two days. That wasn’t like him. She received at least a good morning or good evening when he was busy, but two days wasn’t like him. It had messed her up when she’d woken up he still hadn’t said shit. Maybe he was tired of reading all of her problems.

  She grabbed her phone. McKenzie didn’t want to seem needy, she just wanted to know if he was okay.

  Tee, I haven’t heard from you in a couple of days. Hope everything is okay. Did you go on another date? Did it go better this time? I understand if you have to say goodbye to me.

  No reply.

  Later that evening

  Wayne watched her as he ate. “What’s wrong with you?”

  “Nothing.”

  “You’ve been all happy lately and now you’re walking around looking pitiful.”

  Damn, he’d finally noticed something. “I haven’t been feeling good, that’s all.”

  “Are you sure that’s it?”

  “I’m sure.” McKenzie rubbed Caleb’s back, waiting for him to burp.

  Wayne grinned. “That boy is getting so big. Look at those fat legs.”

  She was surprised at Wayne’s behavior. He was actually enjoying their son.

  “I’ll burp him.” He got up, and gently grabbed him. “Lil’ man, you’re a big boy. Let’s video chat Grandma.” He walked out of the kitchen to the family room.

  McKenzie got up, grabbed their dishes, and washed them. “I’m going to take a shower,” she yelled.

  “Take your time,” Wayne said, laughing with his mom and Caleb. This was what she’d always wanted: a happy home. How long was this going to last?

  She went into the nursery and started cleaning up, when she noticed her cell phone alert was lit. Her heart raced. She rushed out of the room to the bathroom and locked the door. McKenzie turned on the shower, and swiped the app to read the message.

  Goodbye? Fuck no. I don’t think I could ever write a final goodbye to you. I just needed some time to think.

  About?

  You.

  Tee had sent her a link. When she clicked on it, “Permission” by Ro James played.

  She listened to the words as she took a shower. What was he trying to say? Was he asking her for a green light?

  When she stepped out of the shower, McKenzie noticed she had another message.

  Kenzie, I’ll make you scream in pleasure, not pain. I’ll make you feel like you’ve never felt before. Your toes will curl up as I pleasure every single spot on your body, starting from your toes to your head. That motherfucker doesn’t deserve you. Fuck! I would love to have a private conversation with your inner lips. Make you purr my name until you’re out of breath.

  Her whole body tingled as she read his naughty words.

  I’ve never seen you and I want you more than I’ve ever wanted another woman in my life. I’m hard right now, thinking about you, and I don’t even know what you look like lol. I’m going fucking crazy. You might be a psycho or a man, for all I know. Nah, you’re all woman. I wish we would’ve met under different circumstances. Your husband doesn’t deserve you. If I ever meet him, I’m going to fuck him up for hurting you.

  Reading, McKenzie felt so many emotions. He cared.

  Even if you’re not my type, I would still want you. Babe, you have such a beautiful soul. I’m going to bed. I’m freaking drunk. Good night, beautiful!” Tee sent a link to “You Don’t Have To Hurt No More” by Mint Condition.

  McKenzie’s body betrayed her as she re-read the messages. Her nipples were hard and her coochie ached to be touched. She wasn’t supposed to feel this way about another man. McKenzie was going crazy, because she wanted him as much as he’d written that he wanted her. She was emotionally involved with this man. A man that could possibly be a killer, a man that could’ve possibly lied to her about everything, but in the end, he made her smile. In the six and a half months that they’d been chatting, he’d never said he wanted to meet her. What would she say if he asked her to?

  “No, no, no, no!” she chanted.

  McKenzie stepped back into the shower and stood under the spray of water, imagining her Blair Underwood touching her. She finished up, and slipped on her nightshirt. She walked into the baby’s nursery, where Wayne was laying Caleb in his crib. For some odd reason, she felt guilty. She had to admit, she’d fallen for Tee, emotionally at least, a long time ago. Emotional cheating was worse than physical; he knew things about her that not even Wayne knew.

  “Man, I can’t believe how much he’s grown.” Wayne stared at their little boy

  “You just noticed.” She moved next to Wayne and caressed their son’s chunky cheeks.

  He gazed at her. “We make beautiful babies. I think we should have another kid.”

  McKenzie widened her eyes. For that to happen, they’d have to have sex, and she wasn’t feeling like being intimate, especially with Wayne. He’d destroyed any loving feelings she’d had for him. She didn’t love him anymore. “He’s only seven months.”

  “So…” He gently touched her arm. “Don’t you think it’s better to get it out of the way?”

  “No.” She covered Caleb with a blanket. “It’s too soon.” More like never. McKenzie didn’t regret her son now. They only thing she did regret was who his father was.

  He stared at her. “Earlier, you were down, and when you walked into this room you were smiling.” Wayne watched her suspiciously. “I checked the phone bill today. Why didn’t you tell me my mother’s been calling you?”

  “I didn’t know I had to mention the fact that your mother is checking up on your son,” she stated.

  “She’s my mother.” Wayne’s lips thinned. “Anything you tell her, believe me she will tell me.”

  McKenzie took an internal breath. “And why are you looking in to my phone records?”

  “Because I pay the damn bills, McKenzie, that’s why. And I wanted to make sure you weren’t talking or texting someone other than your family.”

  “Like who?” Thank God her app wasn’t traceable on the phone bill; it was part of the data.

  “I don’t know, but something isn’t adding up with you,” he calmly said.

  “Do you want me sad all the time?” She rolled her eyes at him. “Just like you, I have my good and bad days, and earlier just happened to be my down day.” She prayed he would buy what she said, and leave her alone.

  “If I find out you told my mother anything—”

  She raised her hand, stopping him from speaking. “If I would have told your mother what you’ve done to me all these years, you wouldn’t have fingers right now,” McKenzie uttered.

  Wayne chuckled, then gazed at her and moved closer, barely touching her. “When will you be able to please me?” He fixed his crotch. “Your blowjobs aren’t cutting it anymore.”

  Every time Wayne got an itch for sex, she sacrificed herself by giving him a blowjob and then after the act, scrubbing out her mouth. The last time McKenzie went down on him she’d bit him, and he’d lost it. He’d thrown her out of the room. If she’d known that was all it would have taken, she would’ve done it the first time.

  “It’s been over seven months since the baby was born.”

  “The doctor said the C-section isn’t fully cured yet,” she lied. The doctor had cleared her four months ago. The thought of him touching her intimately gave her the creeps. The man she’d once loved was just a shell now. Where had they gone wrong? When did she become his possession-slash-prisoner?