Love Through Pain Page 6

  “It’s not too big.” He’d startled her. Jazmine hadn’t heard him return. Maybe it was the soft rug.

  “It’s good enough.”

  “We’ll be sharing the bathroom.” Javier stood, framing the door with his hands on either side.

  Surprised, she turned around, putting her hands on her hips. “What?”

  “I only have one bathroom.”

  “What about the other room?”

  “This house only has one bedroom.”

  She raised her brow.

  He laughed. “You’re staying in here, and I’ll be sleeping in the living room.”

  “Javy, no. This is your home. I’ll sleep out there.”

  “What kind of man would let a pregnant woman sleep on a sofa?” She went to say something, and he lifted his index finger. “The decision has already been made.”

  “Aren’t you going need another bedroom soon?” She pointed at her stomach.

  “I’m transferring in six months; I’ll get a bigger place then.”

  Jazmine stared at him, and she wanted to ask him where he was moving to, but decided against it. This way, it would be much easier to let go and move on.

  “I’ll leave you to do whatever it is you do.” He exited the bathroom, and then yelled, “we’re getting your dependent ID tomorrow.”

  ***

  The next evening, Javier knocked on her door with a children’s book in his hand.

  “Come in!”

  He pushed the bedroom door open; Jazmine was on the bed with her laptop, and papers were scattered all over the mattress. She had a pencil in her hand, writing on one of the documents, and a pen tangled in her hair.

  “Jazmine.”

  The small squared glasses almost slid off her nose when she looked up. She pushed them back up with her index finger.

  “I thought I could start reading to the baby tonight.” He strolled into her room and sat on the edge of the messy bed.

  “Okay, go ahead.” Jazmine moved the laptop to the side and rearranged her documents.

  He stared at her, a little confused. “I need to read to your stomach, and you’re smashing him right now.” Javier pointed at her belly.

  Jazmine leaned up. Chuckling, “Okay, let me pick up this mess.” Jazmine took off her glasses and started picking up the papers and putting them in her blinder. She picked up a list, a few twenty-dollar bills, and tried to hand it to him. “Here, this is my grocery list.”

  He took the paper from her and placed it in the book. She stared at him.

  “Take the money,” her voice stern.

  “No.”

  Jazmine placed the bills on the night table, pushed herself back against the headboard, and picked up her iPad. “Go ahead have fun.”

  Javier moved up, lying next to her, and then opened the book in his hand. He watched her stomach as she held up the gadget; reading—he guessed—her reports.

  He started reading, “Three Little Pigs.” Jazmine did a funny snort-laugh.

  Her amusement was a breath of fresh air. He smiled. “What’s wrong with the book?”

  “Nothing, it’s just a bit overrated,” she chuckled, glancing at the cover.

  “Whatever.” He arched an eyebrow, opening the book. “This is the new version.” Javier started reading. “In a land far, far away lived three little pigs named; Porky, Chubby, and Silly…”

  Jazmine covered her mouth with her hand, trying to hide her hilarity, and placed the IPad down.

  His brows met. “What now?”

  “That’s not how the story starts.” She grabbed the book from him. “2011 version, really?”

  He gaped at her; she had a damn smirk on her luscious lips. “You’re making this more awkward.”

  “I’m sorry.” She took his hand in hers and placed it on her stomach. “Just start by talking to him, maybe in Spanish.”

  He stared at his hands under hers. Their complexions seemed erotic; she was the color of mocha, and he was a deep tan. “I don’t think you want me to speak to him in Spanish.”

  “Why not?” She looked at him, surprised. “It will be good for him.”

  “I’m not that fluent.”

  “What?” She raised her voice. “You told me you would give me classes.”

  He chuckled now. “I can teach him Spanglish. I understand, but I can’t hold a full conversation.”

  “Oh I see, one of those Puerto Ricans.” She smiled.

  “What do you mean—one those Puerto Ricans?” Javier backed away.

  Jazmine smirked. “I mean that I don’t speak Spanish; I thought your parents taught you.”

  “My mom tried, but it didn’t work out like she intended.” He was about to get off her bed, feeling a little bit hurt.

  “Where are you going? You haven’t finished reading the book. I promise I won’t interrupt you again.” Jazmine handed him the book, and then settled comfortably into the pillows.

  He leaned down to her belly and began reading where he left off.

  Fifteen minutes later, he closed the book and glanced up at Jazmine. She was fast asleep. He pushed himself off the bed and covered her with the blanket. “Good night.” He walked over to the door and turned off the light, closing the door.

  Chapter Ten

  Jazmine heard someone mumbling words she couldn’t understand. She glanced at the clock on the nightstand, two a.m. It took her a minute to sit up, and she threw back the sheets. Her feet dangled off of the bed until they touched the plush rug. She placed her hands by her sides and rose slowly off of the bed. Jazmine carefully waddled out to the living room.

  Javier was sleeping on the couch with his legs hanging over the edge. He was shivering and sweating, mumbling something over and over. She hurried to his side, and then sat next to his head. “Javier…” He kept talking.

  “Javy.” She gently lifted his head and placed it on her lap, and she began stroking his silky, black waves with her fingers. Her T-shirt was quickly getting soaked with his sweat.

  Javier wrapped his arms around her waist. His grip was getting painful. “Sandra, you’re going to be okay.”

  She pulled on his biceps, trying to get loose from his grasp, but he held on even tighter.

  “Javy!” she yelled several times. His eyes fluttered open. He looked around, lost until his eyes met hers, and he slowly released his hold on her.

  “Oh God, Jazmine, did I hurt you?” He rapidly got up. “I’m sorry…”

  “You didn’t hurt me.” She caressed the side of his face. “Who’s Sandra?”

  He closed his eyes again and took a deep breath. “I swear this doesn’t happen every night; the baby will be safe.”

  “Do you suffer from PTSD?” she asked, concerned.

  He opened his eyes and covered his face with his hands. “I use to, but I’ve been good. I seem to have these dreams around this time of year.”

  “What happened? Maybe if you talked about it with a friend it would help.” Worry for him filled her. She caressed his arms. Javier always seemed strong and in control.

  “Let me get some water.” He touched her knuckles, about to get up, but she grabbed his arm to stop him.

  “Stay here, I’ll get it.” Jazmine got up and went into the kitchen.

  She opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. When she turned around, he was standing right behind her. He sat on a stool next to the island, in the middle of the kitchen.

  Jazmine handed him the bottle; he opened it and downed the entire contents. He placed the empty container on the counter. She went and sat on the stool next to him. “Talk to me.”

  “It happened two years ago.”

  “Was it the same explosion that you mentioned to me?”

  “Yes.” He played with the plastic. “The explosion was loud; it shattered glass from the Humvees nearby. Rocks, debris, and steel were thrown everywhere by the blast. The explosion knocked me off my feet, and I landed on the ground. I must’ve been out for a few minutes, because all I remember is waking
up and not being able to hear a thing. I touched my ears, and they were bleeding; the blast was that loud.” He touched his ears. “I looked around, and there were ashes in the air. I was pinned under a big piece of iron. My hearing came back slowly, and I saw some of my fellow shipmates and soldiers.” He took a deep breath.

  Jazmine saw the ache in his eyes, as if he was reliving the pain through telling her his story. She wanted to tell him to stop, but he needed this. She tried to touch his hand, but he eased away and stood.

  “They were hurt, but from what I could tell, nothing too serious. I remember thinking something was wrong, someone was missing. I looked over to the tent and saw her.” He sighed. “Sandra was screaming for help, but there wasn’t anything I could do. I was trapped; I tried to get loose, but I couldn’t. I yelled for them to help her, but instead of helping her, they rushed over to where I was. Between five of them, they lifted the iron off of my body.” He planted both hands on the counter. “I was hurt—could barely walk—I think I crawled, but I made it over to her. I kneeled down next to her and placed her head on my lap. She was screaming, tears rolling down her face.” He closed his eyes, gripping the edge of the counter. “I examined her body to see where she was hurt, because her face, arms, and torso didn’t show any injury, and then I saw her legs.” He opened his eyes.

  She assumed he didn’t want to see that moment.

  “Sandra had a piece of steel wedged in her leg; it was hanging by cartilage. We wanted to help her, but if we moved her, the leg would detach. I took of my fatigue and applied pressure to her, trying to stop the bleeding.” His fists balled. “I promised her she would be fine.”

  “Did she…” Jazmine swallowed before finishing, “die?” She had tears in her eyes.

  “No,” his voice rattled, “but to her, I did.”

  She didn’t say anything, she just watched him.

  “I promised her that everything would be okay, and it wasn’t. They amputated both of her legs.” He took a deep breath, his eyes getting shiny.

  “But you said one leg.”

  “We didn’t know her other leg was crushed, too.” He slammed his fist on the counter. “She believed in me, she was…”

  “She was more than just a shipmate, wasn’t she?” Jazmine asked, curious.

  She could also see anger in his red-rimmed eyes. “We got really close while we were overseas, and one thing led to another. Feelings were involved.”

  “Why did you let her go?”

  “I had no other choice. She didn’t want anything to do with me once we arrived in Germany. I tried to see her after she recovered and was sent home, she wouldn’t allow me to see her. Sandra lost her legs, and I lost the ability to have children.” His eyes finally met hers. “She hates me, and I don’t blame her, but I know I did everything I could to save her, and that’s what matters.”

  Jazmine smiled, and extended her hands to caress his. “How long did it take you to figure that out?”

  “Twelve weeks of therapy.” He put his other hand over hers. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

  “You didn’t scare me, I was worried about you.” She studied his eyes. “Javier, you saved me too, and I’ll always be grateful to you. You’re one of the most wonderful people I’ve ever met.”

  He gazed at her and squeezed her hand. “I’m not. I’m only human.”

  Chapter Eleven

  I saw this quote from – Ashley Rice, and I thought of you.

  ‘Friends are hard to find. In a lifetime you get very few. And when you find them you always know them by sight and heart alone, you always grow a little bit taller in your soul, and you know you have been blessed just to know them.’

  Forever Grateful,

  J.N.O 

  Javier finished reading the note Jazmine had placed in his pocket. He wondered what N meant, so he opened his drawer and pulled out their marriage certificate. He smiled when he read her name, Jazmine Nicole O’Neal.

  “Martinez.” Chief Smith knocked at the open door with papers clutched in his hands.

  “Yes, Smith.” Javier placed the document back in his desk, and then looked up.

  “I didn’t know you went and got yourself married,” Smith said with a smirk on his face.

  “What?” He arched his brow, entwined his fingers, and leaned forward.

  “I didn’t mean to be noisy, but Petty Officer Coleman said she needed you to sign your dependency data form, since your marital status changed over a month ago.” He stepped over the threshold, right in front of his desk. “Sorry if I overstepped.”

  “Relax.” He extended his hand, and took the document from Smith’s hand.

  “I just didn’t think you would get married.”

  Javier gave a small chuckle. “I never thought I would get married either.”

  “What changed?”

  “She’s pregnant.” He decided to give that part away, because in a few months, they’ll see him with a baby.

  He sat in the chair to the right of Javier desk. “You knocked her up?”

  “Something like that.” He signed the document. “Here, I’m done talking about my personal life.” He didn’t have to explain shit to anyone.

  Chief Smith got up. “I forgot you keep your personal life private.”

  “That’s the best way to survive in this game.” He played on his keyboard, trying to get Smith out of his workspace. He knew the office would eventually find out; they had to do the paper work for his dependents. He’d already taken her to get her identification card, and her first appointment at the Naval hospital was last week. He got to see his son for the first time, and the baby was sucking his thumb.

  Smith sauntered to the door. “See you later.”

  “ITC Martinez.” Petty Officer White rushed into his office as Chief Smith was leaving.

  Javier stared at him, waiting for him to say whatever was so urgent.

  “Our local networks just went down,” he stated, a little out of breath.

  Javier placed his hands on his desk and pushed to stand. “Did you check the circuits?” He passed by him.

  “Yes, chief.”

  “Let’s go check it out.” They exited his office, and White followed him down the narrow hall.

  ***

  It was seven o’clock in the evening when they finally fixed the problem with the local network. After hours of diagnostic and corrective technique, they were able to get the system back up and running. Now it was eight o’clock, and he was heading home. He thought about getting something to eat, and decided against it, he was too tired.

  He knew Jazmine would be locked up in her room working; it seemed that’s all she did. She never left the apartment. Javier tried to get her out, but she always made up some excuse on why she couldn’t; he wondered why. The only conclusion he could come with was that she was embarrassed to be pregnant, and she was hiding from the world.

  He arrived home and parked in his parking space, noticing a red supped-up Honda Ridgeline in his visitors’ space. He stepped out his black Ford 150 and inspected the other vehicle, it had dark beige interior.

  Maybe she has a visitor, he thought, going up the sideway to his townhouse. I did say she could see anyone she wanted to. For some reason that thought bothered him. He didn’t want to see another man in his house. As he got closer, he heard music.

  First a long day at work, and now he could possibly find a man in his house. He placed the key in its hole and turned the doorknob. He strode in, the delicious scent of different foods made his stomach grumble. Then he noticed Jazmine was playing the playlist from his iPod. He could hear her murder the lyrics to Marc Anthony’s song, ‘Vivir Mi Vida,’ and she didn’t have a clue what she was singing.

  He ambled to the kitchen area, stopped, and chuckled softly. Jazmine was dancing to the music. She surprised him with her moves as she danced salsa. Jazmine was pretty good. Her back was turned to him. She opened the refrigerator, and with the help of the door she seductively grinded down, and then up.
Javier couldn’t help it; he ogled her round, firm ass, stop looking. She closed the fridge and began dancing again, and he took that opportunity to silently pace forward.

  He too started dancing behind her, and gently placed his hands around her waist, making her jump in surprise. “It’s me,” he softly voiced before she slowly turned around.

  They gazed at each other for a couple of seconds without saying a word.

  “Come on. Dance with me.” He took her hands in his, still moving his hips.

  She smiled, placing her hands behind his neck. “How long have you been watching me?”

  “Let’s just say, I didn’t know you could dance salsa.” He took her left hand in his and twirled her around. “And you need to stop singing in Spanish.” His chuckle was deep.

  Jazmine smacked him on the chest with her right hand, and giggled. “Whatever, I can sing.”

  He arched his brow. “If you say so.” That’s when he noticed her nose wrinkled every time she giggled.

  “I do.” She kept tittering, making her stomach jiggle.

  Javier was getting use to coming home to someone. He never thought it was possible. He enjoyed his space, that’s why he only had one bedroom, but Jazmine was making him see things differently. He now knew he could share his life with someone without feeling like less of a man because he couldn’t give them a child. Maybe it was time for him to find a good woman and settle down. Jazmine had been living with him for over a month, and every morning she placed a note in his pocket with a smile, thank you, or just a nice quote. When he was having a stressful day, he would take out her note for the day, and read it. He’d collected all the notes in his desk at work.

  “Thanks.” He gazed at her, caressing her fingers.

  “For?” Jazmine stared into his eyes. He saw something there, her eyes sparkled with desire; maybe—he must be tired. Jazmine would never see him that way.