Forgiveness and Second Chances Read online

  Forgiveness

  &

  Second Chances

  By

  Ancelli

  Copyright Ancelli2012

  All Rights Reserved

  No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in retrieval system, copied in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise transmitted without written permission from the publisher.

  This book is a work of fiction, and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales is purely coincidental. The characters are productions of the author’s imagination and used fictitiously. This is an explicit and erotic novel intended for the enjoyment of adult readers only.

  Chapter One

  Jeremy Wood stared at his high-school sweetheart. He and Malanie Johnson had been together for two years. She was everything to him. Every time she looked at him with those dreamy brown eyes, he did anything she asked him to. And what she’d just asked him wasn’t any different. She wanted them to attend a house party, despite knowing how people felt about their relationship.

  Malanie hugged him in the hallway at school. He could practically feel the scrutinizing gazes of their classmates.

  “Please say yes.”

  He never could refuse her. “Yes….” He kissed her nose.

  “Dude, keep that shit to yourselves,” David Smith, one of Jeremy’s classmates yelled. “I can’t believe you have jungle fever.” He and his friends laughed.

  Jeremy’s jaw tightened. Lately it seemed everybody had a problem with who he’d chosen to love.

  She cupped his face. “Don’t let ignorant people get to you.” She smiled, and he forgot what had made him mad in the first place.

  “So, what time do you want to meet up?”

  Some kids and teachers at Morrison High School didn’t take well to their interracial relationship, but it never seemed to affect her. She always said she didn’t care about peoples’ words, she only cared what they felt for each other.

  “Seven, I’ll pick you up at Carmen’s house as usual.”

  “Okay.

  “I hate not being able to pick you up at your house,” he said, playing with her curly hair. “I want everybody, including our families, to know you’re my girlfriend.”

  “It’s the way it has to be for now. If my mother knew I was still seeing you, she might kill me.”

  The school bell rang. “I love you, Lanie.”

  “Me too.”

  They kissed each other one last time before going to their separate classrooms.

  All the way through his next class, Jeremy couldn’t shake off the specter of their parents. Mrs. Kathy Johnson, Malanie’s mother, hated him just because he was white and because he came from a military family. He’d tried to win her over, but none of his attempts worked. She ended up just hating him more. She’d prohibited Malanie from seeing him, but that would never stop them.

  His dad, on the other hand, loved Malanie and thought she was good for him, but his mom didn’t like her. Carol Wood didn’t agree with the notion of her son dating a black girl from the urban part of town. His mom always thought she was better than everybody else, just because she was married to an Army colonel.

  ***

  That night, Malanie lied to her mother.

  “Mom? I’m gonna stay over Carmen’s house tonight, ’kay?”

  “As long as it’s fine with Mrs. Ortiz, it’s fine with me.”

  Carmen Ortiz was Malanie’s best friend. They’d grown up together and shared everything, up until she’d met Jeremy. At times she thought Carmen was jealous of her relationship with him. He had become her saving grace, a place to get away from her mother and all her problems.

  Her parents had divorced three years earlier. James and Katie, her younger siblings, had decided to live with their dad, but Malanie couldn’t leave her mom alone, and decided to stay with her. Her mother was verbally and sometimes physically abusive, always putting her down, making her feel like she wouldn’t amount to anything. But Jeremy made her feel like she could do anything. He’d been the one to help her with her college applications. He always made her feel special and beautiful. He was her rock, and she would do anything for him.

  ***

  They attended the party hand in hand, getting dirty looks from the kids—both white and black—but it didn’t faze her at all. “Don’t pay them any attention their just jealous of what we got.” She just grabbed him tighter and stared, giving them dirty looks right back.

  They went out to the tiny dance floor and moved to the music. “Are you enjoying yourself?” Malanie asked him.

  He didn’t dance much, just moved from side to side. “I’m with you. That’s all that matters.” He kissed her lips.

  “Go get a bed!” Tyron Watts yelled, rolling his eyes at them. He had always been vocal about his disapproval of their relationship. “Hey white boy, why don’t you go find a white girl and leave ours alone?”

  “Don’t,” Malanie pleaded, grabbing Jeremy’s arm.

  Tyron started laughing. “You pussy! I see the bitch tells you what to do.”

  Malanie released her hold on him, and he marched up to Tyron.

  “You can disrespect me all you want, but don’t ever disrespect my girl.” Jeremy stood up to Tyron for the first time. He was nervous, but didn’t show it. He was much taller than the jerk and it worked to his advantage.

  Tyron backed down and laughed it off. “Man, I was just kidding,” he said, walking off.

  “My hero!” Malanie giggled. “You’re not the fighting type.”

  “For you I am.”

  She grabbed his hand and they sat on the couch until she saw Carmen in the crowd.

  “I’ll be back. I need to talk to Carmen,” Malanie said. It took her just a few quick strides to cross the room and pull her to the side to talk.

  Jeremy sat by himself on the sofa, just watching Malanie. Her skin reminded him of a cup of chocolate mocha. She was petite, with natural, beautiful curly hair, he loved to play with. She’s so pretty.

  His thoughts were interrupted when he overheard Tyron and another African American guy talking about a girl. “She knows how to work her ass and lips.”

  “Which one?” Tyron asked.

  Then he pointed at Malanie. “There she is.”

  Jeremy’s heart stopped as he followed the pointing finger. “No,” he whispered, remembering what she’d told him. I’m a virgin. I want to wait until I know I’ve found the right guy. Maybe it’s you, maybe it’s not.

  Malanie started walking back to him, but was stopped by the other guy, the one whose name Jeremy didn’t know. She smiled, giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Oh my god! She slept with that piece of shit.

  Jeremy could feel himself getting angry. He got up, passing her and the two knuckleheads. He began drinking beer and taking shots. After a while Malanie caught up with him. “Jeremy, you promised you weren’t going to drink.” She took the can of beer out of his hand.

  “You didn’t keep your promise. Why should I?” he asked, not being able to look her in the eyes. He reached and took another shot. He knew she was the one for him, even though they were only seventeen.

  “I’ve never broken a promise to you,” she said, trying to take the shot glass away from him.

  “You’re a fucking liar!” he yelled, pushing her hand away.

  He could tell she was shocked by his outburst, and her eyes shot daggers at him.

  “Let’s go. You’re drunk.”

  “I’m not ready to go home.” He stalked away toward Amy Carter.

  Amy was known to be a fast girl, giving it up to anyone. Jeremy began to flirt with her. “Amy, you look very nice tonight,” he sa
id licking his lips, staring her up and down, to the very short edge of her mini-skirt.

  She batted her eyes at him. “Thanks.”

  Malanie marched over in between them. “Excuse me.” She turned to him, “Jeremy, I’m ready to go.”

  He looked at her and started stumbling toward the door, leaving her no other option but to follow behind him.

  “You’re not driving.” He threw her the keys. “Thanks.” She opened the door.

  He let a few moments of silence pass in time with the white lines on the road.

  “How are you getting home?” he asked, slouching. “I don’t want your mother to have a stroke.”

  “I’m staying with you. You said your parents aren’t home.” She took her eyes off the road for a few seconds. “What came over you back there, talking to that chick?”

  “Nothing came over me. I was just c-complimenting her.”

  “Really?” Her right eye twitched. His chuckle was deep. Her eyes only twitched when she was mad or nervous.

  “Why are you laughing?” She drove up his driveway, parked, and got out, slamming the door.

  He didn’t answer but opened his door, holding on, until he was able to stand and stumble after her. He was way over being drunk. Drinking wasn’t his thing, but his friends always said liquor makes you forget, and that was what he was trying to accomplish. He wanted to forget what he’d heard that dude say. But it wasn’t working. He was still pissed. Someone else had gotten what he’d thought was his.

  Even so, he let her help him up the stairs and into his room.

  He fell onto his bed and she took off his shoes. When she bent down, he saw her breast popping out of her dress. “Lanie, come lay with me,” he said, patting the mattress. He was the only person allowed to call her that. It was his pet name for her. He loved the way her eyes lit up when he whispered, “Lanie.”

  As if on cue, her eyes sparkled. She took off her sandals and lay beside him, hugging him tight.

  He touched her neck and leaned forward to kiss her. Damn, she smells so good.

  They’d made out before, but she always stopped him before it went too far. He chuckled at the thought. Too far. What a fucking fool he was for believing she was a virgin. But tonight, he would have her.

  Jeremy kissed her, shoving his tongue down her throat. He’d never been this forceful with her before. He was always so gentle. Malanie tried to push him off, but he wouldn’t stop. He started feeling her up, groping her.

  “Stop, Jeremy!” But it was like he couldn’t hear her.

  He pushed up her dress and slid her panties aside.

  “Jeremy!” she yelled, trying to push him away.

  He finally stopped and looked at her with fire in his hazel eyes. The vein in his throat was throbbing. “What, Malanie?”

  She stared at him, trying to figure out what was wrong, why was he being this rough with her. He’d never even called her by her name. What happened to calling me Lanie? “Jeremy, I want to wait.”

  He glared at her with eyebrows arched. “Well, I’m tried of waiting. Is it because I’m white?”

  She was hurt by his question. “I’m not our mothers! Race means nothing to me. I want to wait until I’m sure.”

  “I love you, and if you love me, you’ll do it. Did you love him?”

  “Who?”

  “The guy you were hugging tonight.”

  “No, I don’t love him. He is just a friend.”

  “You’re sure about that?”

  “I only love you!”

  Jeremy started kissing her again, taking down her dress, exposing her breasts. He rubbed her nipples with his fingers and then began sucking on them, taking each in turn, making her moan.

  This won’t hurt. We can make out and touch each other, but I know he would never hurt me. Being rational in that moment was work. The things her body was feeling when he touched her made her want to give in.

  His hands started moving down and he started rubbing, making her wet, but when he started to unbutton and unzip his pants she got worried. He climbed on her and pushed her legs apart.

  Malanie pushed him. “Jeremy, what are you doing?”

  “Shh…I won’t hurt you,” he said. “Do you love me?”

  “Yes,” she answered, barely above a whisper.

  “Then prove it,” he said, now gently kissing her. “Relax. I won’t hurt you.”

  She tried to, taking deep breaths, closing her eyes. I don’t want to lose him. He’s all I’ve got.

  He grabbed his dick and tried to push into her, slowly.

  Her tears began to roll down her face. “You’re hurting me,” she whispered, but he still continued. She’d never thought it would hurt like this.

  “Do you want me to stop?” he asked, slowing down and eventually pulling out.

  She just turned her head to the side and didn’t answer.

  He must have taken her silence as no, and he re-entered her, this time a little harder. It was already too late. She was no longer a virgin. She felt a sharp pain as he finally broke through her. The boy she loved had taken the most precious thing away from her. Actually, he hadn’t; she had let him take it.

  She just laid there in tears.

  All of a sudden he stopped, staring at her. “You’re still a virgin?” He pulled out, but it was too late. “Lanie, I’m so sorry.” He rolled off her. “Fuck!”

  She jumped up, crying, and fixed her dress.

  Jeremy pulled up his pants and followed her as she ran down the stairs and out of the house.

  “Lanie!”

  ***

  Jeremy tried calling her cell to beg forgiveness, but kept getting her voicemail. “Lanie, I’m so sorry, please forgive me. I love you.” He called her house and her mother kept hanging up on him. He even went to her house and threw rocks at her window, like he always did whenever he needed to see her, but she never once showed her face. He was so sorry for believing what he’d heard, for forcing himself on the one person he loved.

  ***

  On Monday morning, he saw her getting off the bus with Carmen, and waited until they were near the school. “Lanie, I need to talk to you.”

  “About?” Carmen asked, putting her hands on her hips.

  “Alone, please.” he said, looking at Carmen.

  Carmen gave him a dirty look. “Haven’t you done enough?”

  “It’s okay Carmen. I’ll see you in class,” Malanie said, walking along. Carmen rolled her eyes at both of them and stomped off.

  He tried to take her hand in his, but she pulled away. “I’m sorry Lanie. I don’t know what came over me. I was jealous and fucking drunk. Sorry—”

  “Jealousy? Drunk!” she yelled before turning to a whisper. “You practically raped me.”

  “Lanie, do you really believe that?” he asked. “I would never….”

  “I don’t know what to feel, Jeremy. You took something precious to me.”

  “I stopped, Malanie. Please, forgive me. I would never hurt you again.”

  “It’s too late,” she said with a stern voice. “You took something away from me that I will never get back.” She started crying. “I loved you. You were my everything, Jeremy.”

  “You’re my everything. Lanie, I made a mistake.” He tried to grab her hand again and she smacked it. “I overheard something and I lost my mind. I shouldn’t have asked you to prove your love.”

  “But you did…you didn’t trust me. Is sex what you wanted from me?”

  “What? No. Lanie, you’re my best friend. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I did ask you if you wanted me to stop? And you didn’t answer. I really thought you wanted the same thing.”

  “You didn’t do it because you wanted me, you did it because you thought someone else had. I trusted you, but you didn’t trust me the same. I can’t be with someone who believes the first thing he hears. I wanted my first time to be special.” The school bell rang. “I’m done. Don’t talk to me. If you see me, turn away, and don’t come back to my house.
We are through, Jeremy, do you hear me? I hate you!” she screamed, running away.

  That was the last day she talked to him. Those last words she’d said to him affected him in so many ways. I hate you! The words rattled around in her head. Had he really forced himself on her? He tried everything to make her forgive him. He even went to her house a couple of times and knocked on the door until her mother threatened to call the cops if he dared to come back. He wrote her notes, left messages, but all she did was ignore him for months.

  He was standing near his locker and the moment she walked up to him, he could tell something was wrong. Her eyes were shining with tears. What did her mother do this time? he thought.

  “I need to talk to you,” she whispered.

  He couldn’t believe she was speaking to him. “Okay.”

  She was about to tell him something when Amy ran up to him and tried to kiss him. He stuck his arm out to fend her off, and leaned away. “What are you doing?”

  “I just wanted to thank you for last night! It helped me a lot,” she said, then kept on going.

  Before he knew it, Malanie had started running away. He ran after her and grabbed her arm. “Lanie, it’s not what you think.” He’d helped Amy with her homework, but she made it seem like more had gone on. “What did you need to tell me?”

  She wiped her tears. “It’s not important.”

  “I’ve missed you, Lanie.” He caressed the side of her face. “I’m sorry.” He leaned down and kissed her on the lips.

  “I miss you too.” She turned and ran down the steps.

  That was the last time he saw her.

  Chapter Two

  Six months later

  “Jeremy!” His father yelled for him.

  “Yes, I’m coming.” He ran down the stairs to find his parents, his older sister Carolyn, and his little brother Jack, all looking at a newborn baby in a car seat. Getting closer, he asked, “Whose baby?”