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  “He lied. My boy might come back, but not here.” Albert kicked out his feet.

  “Why would he do this to me?” She didn’t mean to say it out loud.

  “That boy loves you. He went to church because of you. This might be a huge misunderstanding,” Albert said.

  “Love.” She chuckled sarcastically. McKenzie was thankful she hadn’t made a fool of herself, telling him she loved him. But she was such a fool. Once again, she should have known something was wrong. The night they made love, he said he had to leave town the next day. However, he had warned her. He’d asked more than once if she was ready.

  “Have you heard from him?” Monique asked.

  “Yes, a few times, but he’s always short with me, and come to think about it, he always had some excuse on why he didn’t call or text.” He’d sent her a few messages through the app that had started everything between them. He’d even sent one that said “Happy One-Year Chatteranniversary”, and later that evening, she’d received a bouquet of colorful roses. McKenzie had thought that was so sweet of him.

  “My boy doesn’t have a bad heart,” Albert informed her. “If he left, it’s because he’s in trouble, which I doubt, because Eric would be right by his side or—”

  “Or he was too cowardly to say goodbye to me.” Her heart broke into a million pieces. “It’s okay, you know why?” McKenzie looked at them both. “Because I’m enough.”

  “Yes, you are!” Monique agreed.

  “I don’t need a man. I have found myself again, and I’ve never been this happy.” She took Caleb and kissed him. Toby had made her happier, but she would survive. He’d been gone over a month, and she was doing just fine without him. As she shared her day with Albert and Monique she decided to ignore his future messages, texts, and calls. It was time to leave Toby in the past.

  Later that evening, she couldn’t hold back the disappointment she was feeling, knowing that the man she’d trusted deceived her. Toby hadn’t physically or emotionally abused her, but he took her heart and shredded it to pieces. McKenzie hadn’t loved a man in years. Why had she opened herself up so fast?

  ***

  Her phone dinged, and she stopped, taking a few deep breaths before swiping her cell to life.

  McKenzie I haven’t heard from you in a couple of days. Is everything all right? Please reply…

  She dropped the phone in the stroller and continued running her normal route back to her apartment. She missed hearing his voice, even if it was just for a minute to say goodnight.

  Before going to bed at night, she would turn off her cell. Why was he leading her on, if all he was going to do in the end was break her heart. She was such a fool, giving her body and soul to that man. McKenzie felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders when her period came a week late. She’d been nervous and scared, imagining having another baby alone. Another text came through and she picked up the phone as she powerwalked the rest of the way.

  McKenzie I can’t do this without you baby. Please answer me…

  She stared at the message, and decided to call her mom after she fed Caleb and took a shower.

  She remembered his words. You know me more than anyone else. I have no reason to lie to you. She typed.

  Don’t worry about me, I’m okay.

  She grabbed baby boy and pulled the stroller up the stairs and up to her apartment. “This right here is a workout in itself, peanut,” McKenzie said, opening the door.

  “Tee Tee!” Caleb said, every time she opened the door. Her son assumed Toby would be waiting for them on the other side.

  “Tee Tee is gone bye-bye.” She kissed her son’s forehead.

  “Bye-bye!” He waved his hand at the barrier.

  “Yes.” She placed him in his high chair and prepared his instant oatmeal and fed him breakfast. “Yummy.” He ate a spoonful. Her mind wandered off as she stared at the counter. Toby had said that word when he’d devoured her.

  “Yummy.” Caleb smiled around the spoon.

  After he was full and content, Caleb took a nap, and she took a long shower.

  McKenzie dried herself, then slipped on her robe and grabbed her cell. “Mom,” she cried.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “You were right.” She wiped her eyes. “Why didn’t I listen to you?”

  “What are you talking about, McKenzie?”

  “Toby!” She raised her voice. She tried not to let his betrayal get to her, but she couldn’t help it. McKenzie was in love with the fool.

  “Child, stop your foolishness. That boy loves you. He told me so himself.”

  Wait, was she hearing right? He hadn’t even told her he loved her. “What? When did you have a conversation with him?”

  “I was way wrong about that boy. He let me know his intentions when it came to you.”

  “He loves me?” she whispered.

  “Yes, dear, I heard it come out his own two lips. He hasn’t told you because he didn’t think you were ready to hear those words and I agreed with him. My advice to him was that both of you need to work on yourselves first. I went to apologize for my actions the day he overheard us. I didn’t want him to think that I’m a bigot.”

  “I didn’t know.”

  “You weren’t supposed to. That conversation was between me and my future son-in-law.”

  McKenzie chuckled. “That will never happen. Toby up and left me.”

  “What?” her mother hollered. “Did he tell you he was ending things with you?”

  “No, he said he had to leave on some stupid training for work.”

  “And what’s the problem? You told me yourself what a great job he had, and all the opportunities he was presented with. He’s trying to climb that ladder.”

  McKenzie lay down on her bed, staring at the ceiling above, reading what Toby had painted there: You’re enough, you’re beautiful, never doubt that… Toby. “It was all a lie, Mom. He quit his job, sold his home and truck.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I believed in him.”

  “Has he given you any reason not to?”

  “No,” she whispered.

  “He sacrificed his freedom for yours, right? He stood by you through it all. Why would you think after all that you’ve been through that he would just up and leave you now?” McKenzie didn’t answer. “Who told you this?”

  “Albert.”

  “Really, McKenzie, did you call his cousin and ask? Albert is always putting his nose where it doesn’t belong. You told me so yourself.”

  “Eric lied to me too. He backed up Toby’s story about being gone because of work. And I’m not going to go down to the plant to ask about it.” Even though she’d thought about it on her way home, she wouldn’t invade his privacy like that. “It’s the truth, Mom.”

  “So you’re telling me that you haven’t heard from him since he left.”

  “I didn’t say that. He calls or texts me when he can. He said he’s been really tired and he barely has time for anything.” McKenzie smiled, snapping out of her trance. He wouldn’t hurt her like that. He would’ve told her he didn’t want a relationship. Toby was up to something, but she couldn’t put her finger on it.

  “Are you still there?” Her mother laughed. “I guess you answered your own questions. Toby didn’t leave you with a goodbye, he left to secure your future together. He followed my advice giving you some time alone to reflect on your life and what you want out of it. And now, my darling daughter, know what you want.”

  “Toby Wheeler.” McKenzie glanced at the phone screen. Toby was calling. Her heart skipped a beat. “Mom, he’s on the other line.”

  “Bye, and be nice.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” She swiped her finger to the left. “Toby!”

  “It’s so fucking good to finally hear your voice, beautiful. Why haven’t you answered my texts?” Toby’s husky voice echoed through her body. “Are we good?”

  “Yes.” She chuckled. “Yes, handsome, we are more than good.” He’d told her mother that he loved her, but didn’t think she’d been ready to hear those words, and he was probably right. “I was just going through something and I was being silly.”

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Yes.”

  “How’s Caleb? I miss him.”

  “He misses you too. He calls your name every time we come through the door.” She giggled. “He assumes you’ll be on the other side, but he has the sides mixed up. You came to the door, not answered it.”

  “I’ll be home soon. Give him a big, slobbery kiss from Tee.” He sighed. “Are you taking time out for yourself? Do you have new friends?”

  “Yes. I reconnected with a college friend on social media and my cousin Shanell has called me a few times. I’m having dinner with Jeyna next week.”

  “I’m so glad you have girlfriends, but are you taking care of yourself?”

  She heard the concern in his voice. “Yes, Toby.” She chuckled. “I’m going out more, doing the things that I enjoy doing. I’m enjoying finding myself. I love the new me.”

  “You’ve always been there McKenzie; you were never lost. You are an amazing woman.”

  And then it hit her. Toby had left to give her space.

  “I hope when I get home, the new McKenzie still wants me.” Toby seemed like he was making sure he was what she needed. “Babe, I have to go.”

  “Really? It’s only been five minutes,” McKenzie pouted. She was being selfish, but hearing his voice was like tasting her favorite wine for the first time.

  “Sorry, babe.” He sounded so sad. “I’ll call you as soon as I can. Please, baby, hang on. I’ll be home before you know it.” He hung up.

  “I love you,” she whispered, staring at her screen.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  McKenzie jogged through the
park with her baby boy in the stroller listening to “Rise up” by Adra Day. Caleb was a happy baby despite everything she’d gone through in her pregnancy. She pushed through the pain in her legs as she did every morning. She’d heard less and less from Toby during the passing weeks, and she never once asked him about the fact he’d sold his things or quit his job. If he wanted to tell her, he would. He never gave her a reason to distrust him, but neither had Wayne, in the beginning. McKenzie scolded herself for even comparing the two. Wayne did show her who he really was, but she’d been blinded.

  Toby had asked her to send him a picture of her and Caleb, and she had. The next day, she received a gift card to get a manicure and pedicure at a fancy salon with a note that said, “You deserve some pampering, beautiful. Take a friend.” Her mind was messing with her. The only times Wayne had ever given her anything was because he’d hurt her, or done something he wasn’t supposed to. McKenzie invited an old college friend she connected with again through social media, and now here they were, sipping on bubbly champagne.

  “So, is this your boyfriend who’s paying for this?” Jeyna asked.

  “I don’t know what we are.” McKenzie placed her flute down on the side table, looking at her friend. She didn’t know what to call Toby, if there was even anything between them but friendship with benefits. “He’s my best friend.”

  Jeyna smiled. “When I see him I’m going to give him a huge hug for bringing me back my best friend.” She lifted her glass up for a toast.

  McKenzie clicked her flute to hers. “You can’t hug my Toby. He’s all mine.” She winked at her friend.

  Jeyna almost choked. “Hold up, did you say Toby? He’s white?”

  “Yes,” she said. “And he is all mine. I can’t wait to see him soon.”

  Jeyna watched her through narrow eyes. “I want to meet the man that makes your eyes sparkle. I’m so glad for you, but don’t you think it’s too soon to get involved with another man?”

  “It’s been fourteen months since I met him. I think I’ve waited long enough for my happiness and he makes me reach for the stars.”

  “You can reach for the stars on your own too, you know.” She lifted her feet out of the water.

  “Not the kind of stars he makes me see…” McKenzie chuckled.

  Jeyna eyes widened. “No, you didn’t…” she whispered. “Did you?”

  McKenzie ignored her questions, and answered the one she had insinuated. “I can do anything I want to do, but I want him by my side. He encourages me. Toby lets me be me.”

  “Anyone can encourage you,” Jeyna said, matter-of-factly.

  “Not anyone.” McKenzie took a long sip from her drink. She was in her own element doing whatever she pleased. No one to answer to but herself. McKenzie went out and came home when she wanted to. She didn’t have to live on a budget anymore. She was living for her son and for herself.

  She’d even dyed her hair a lighter color and cut it into a short bob. Wayne would take her to the salon and wait for her in the car.

  Toby complimented her new hairstyle when he saw her picture. “Damn, you’re even more stunning than before. Can’t wait to come back home to you.”

  McKenzie was grinning, that was the effect Toby had on her, and to think she’d almost let her insecurities let him go before they’d even started. She could live without him, but she didn’t want to.

  “Earth to McKenzie.” Jeyna waved her hands in her face.

  She twisted, staring at her. “Yes?”

  “Does he have a brother?” Jeyna smiled. “If he has you daydreaming, he must be a keeper. I don’t mind trying the other side, so does he have a brother?”

  “Actually, he does.” McKenzie pulled out her phone and showed Jeyna a picture of Eric holding Caleb in one of his visits. “And, he’s single.”

  Jeyna took the phone away from her, ogling the picture. “Damn, he’s huge…”

  “He’s a gentle teddy bear, just like Toby.” McKenzie’s mind ran away for a few minutes, thinking of the way he’d made her body dance to the beat of his music.

  Jeyna gave her back her phone. “If you are happy then I’m happy for you. Just be careful.”

  “I am,” she sincerely answered. “I’m going to start attending a domestic abuse group session at church. I think it’s time for me to face the demons of the past. I can’t keep what happened to me bottled up.”

  “You can speak to me,” Jeyna said.

  “Thanks.” She leaned back in the leather chair as the masseuse worked on her calves. “Are we still on for dinner? I might invite Eric.” McKenzie was thankful for reconnecting with family and friends but she needed to share with other women who had been through what she did.

  “How could I say no?” Jeyna wiggled her freshly pedicured toes. “Maybe I might get lucky.”

  She was having a fabulous day and it only got better when she received a text from Toby with a link. McKenzie clicked, and “Why I Love You” by Major started playing. Tears of joy stung her eyes. Toby always found a way to take away all the insecurities she had about their friendship/relationship.

  ***

  McKenzie had a great week. Work was going great: she even earned the Employee of the Month award. She was proud of her accomplishment in such a short time. She couldn’t wait to tell Toby. McKenzie texted him at the beginning of the week and still hadn’t heard back from him. He was busy, she kept telling herself, as she took a drink of water. She sat glancing around the restaurant as she waited for Jeyna to arrive.

  Her eyes met with a man strolling through the restaurant and he started coming toward her table. McKenzie placed the glass down as he approached. “I’ve been watching you since you graced this place with your presence,” were his first words.

  She’d only been there for about ten minutes.

  McKenzie curled her lips up, trying not to be rude.

  “Do you mind if I join you?” He smiled, exposing his pearly whites.

  She was about to answer when Eric placed his hand on the man’s shoulder, startling him.

  “She might not mind, but I will.” Eric pulled out the chair in front of him and sat. The guy thinned his lips and walked away.

  McKenzie raised an eyebrow. “Really. I had that handled.”

  “It was taking you too long to tell him to run off.” Eric stared at her and then at the gentleman walking away to his seat. “How are you doing, doll?”

  “I’m great.” she grinned. “Thank God you don’t have sisters.”

  “But I do.” He placed his rough hand over hers. “You’re the woman my brother is into, so that makes you kind of my sister.” Eric removed his hand and leaned back in his chair. “Ol’ Albert told me what went down the last time he saw you. I bet he had you all mad and bothered about nothing. I have Toby’s truck, and to be honest I have no idea why he sold his trailer. Why did you even listen to that fool?”

  McKenzie felt stupid now. Her mother had asked her if she’d asked Eric about the gossips. But that was weeks ago. She’d placed it in the back of her mind, but was happy Eric had cleared up that mess. “What about his job?”

  “He’s off making a difference in his life.” He picked up the glass of water and took a gulp. “Toby wouldn’t hurt you, McKenzie. He was into you when he didn’t even know what you looked like. I thought he was crazy.” Eric smiled, his eyes crinkling at the edges. Toby resembled Eric in some ways. They had the same straight nose and full, rose lips, but his hair was darker and his eyes were a shade darker. Eric wore a dirty blue cap everywhere he went. “And then you told him about the beatings and he went crazy. He couldn’t sleep for days after you revealed that information.”

  McKenzie was quiet as Eric spoke. She’d never heard this side of the story. She could tell by his words that Toby had been passionate about getting her out of Wayne’s grip.

  “My cousin fell for you for the person you are in there.” He pointed at her chest. “Toby has never been lacking in the woman department, but none of those women compared to you. He fell for a woman behind the screen. I thought you were a psycho, trying to get over on my cousin, but you’ve proven me wrong. Maybe I should place an ad on Craigslist?” He grinned until he saw her face. “It’s our little secret.” He winked.