Love Through Pain Read online

  “I’ll think about it.”

  Chapter Seven

  The sheets tangled around Jazmine’s body as she tossed and turned. She couldn’t sleep as the conversation she had with Javier replayed in her head. The way his eyes mirrored pain, when he told her he was sterile.

  She scooted up in the bed to lean against the headboard, and the baby kicked. She gently touched her belly and talked to him for the first time. “What do you think little guy?”

  She propped over to the nightstand and picked up her cell, taking a deep breath, here goes. Jazmine slid her phone on, and touched his contact number.

  He answered on the first ring. “Jazz, are you okay?”

  She heard the concern in his voice. Her heart skipped a beat every time he slipped and called her Jazz.

  “I’m okay, I couldn’t sleep.”

  “Oh, I can’t sleep either.”

  “I have an answer for you.” She squinted her eyes, trying to imagine his smile when she told him.

  He remained silent.

  “I thought about everything you said. I mean I don’t know the people who’ll adopt the baby from the agency. I know we don’t really know each other, but deep in my heart, I know you’ll be a great dad to this baby.” She patted her stomach.

  “What are you saying?”

  She smiled. “Yes, you can adopt him.”

  “You won’t regret your decision.” Excitement belied his tone. “Thank you…”

  “You don’t have to thank me, just make sure you love him.” Her eyes watered.

  “Are you busy tomorrow?”

  “No, why?”

  “I’ll be going home tomorrow night, I want us to discuss some things.”

  “What things?”

  “We’ll talk about it tomorrow. I’ll pick you up at nine.”

  “See you tomorrow.”

  “Bye.”

  ***

  Javier turned off his cell, and looked down at Monica, wondering how he was going tell her about his plans without her exploding, like she did in the past. Throwing things, acting like a kid having a tantrum. It didn’t matter how he said it, she was still going to blow.

  Her fingers circled his nipple. She pinched it.

  “Ouch,” he leapt up, batting her hand away. “Why the hell did you do that?”

  “Who the hell is calling you at one in the morning?” She glanced at the clock on the shelf. “And, what won’t they regret?”

  “You were listening in on my conversation?” He peered down at her.

  “I wasn’t eaves dropping.” She leaned on her elbows, glaring at him. “Who are you meeting tomorrow? And what will you be discussing?” Monica raised a sculpted brow. “Don’t you dare fucking lie to me.” Her lips formed a thin line as she waited for his answer.

  He glared at her, pushing her off his chest, and slipped out of her bed.

  “Javier!” she sat up.

  He grabbed his boxers off the floor and tugged them on.

  “Are you cheating on me again!” Monica asked throwing a pillow at him.

  It hit him in the head, and fell on the floor. Javier looked at the cushion, and then at her. “I’m not cheating on you.”

  Her cheeks were red as she continued. “Was that Sandra or someone new?”

  “You’re really going to bring that shit up now.” He could feel his ears burning. Why would she bring up Sandra? “Monica that happened a long time ago. “

  “Two years ago is not a long time,” she insisted with tears filling her eyes. “I don’t trust you!”

  “I’m not cheating on you!” He raised his voice too, pulling on a t-shirt.

  “Then who the fuck is calling you this early in the morning?” Monica swung her legs over the mattresses edge and placed her feet on the hardwood floor.

  He took a deep breath. “Jazmine.”

  “Who’s that bitch?” She now stood with her arms over her naked breasts.

  Javier sat on the ledge of her window, away from her. He put his elbows on his legs and leaned forward. “Jazmine is the woman we helped in the alley.”

  She was silent for a few minutes; until, he guessed, she realized whom he was talking about. “We? I didn’t help that trick. You did.”

  “She’s not a trick, she’s some kind of analyst.” Javier stroked his fingers through his hair.

  “And how do you know that?” She moved off of the bed.

  “We stayed in touch.” He lifted his head and stared straight into her angry gaze.

  “Oh really.” She curved her lips. “Why did she call you tonight?”

  Here goes. He stood, sure of what was coming. “To discuss her baby.”

  “Her baby?” She was in front of him within seconds. “What baby?” Monica punched him in the chest. “You fucked around with her, and got her pregnant!”

  He grabbed her wrist. “What, no? I haven’t seen Jazmine until a week ago.” He stared at her. “I told you, I haven’t fucking cheated on you.” He released his grip on her.

  “Why is she calling you about her baby?” She picked up her lingerie.

  “I’m adopting her son.”

  She tightened her hold on the lacy material, and then frowned at him, apparently dumbfounded. “Javy!”

  “She’s giving her son up for adoption, and I’m stepping up. End of story.” He glared at her.

  Monica stood with her hands on her hips. “What kind of woman would give away a baby?”

  “Don’t judge her without knowing the circumstances.” He rose.

  “I don’t want to hear about her stupid situation.” She moved her hands in his face, annoying the hell out of him. “I’ve put up with your cheating ass for years, and this is how you repay me?”

  “Adopting this baby has nothing to do with you.”

  “I’ve begged you for a baby, but you told me you weren’t ready, and now you’re willing to raise a black baby!” she shouted.

  “Black baby,” he smirked at her, “is that what really matters here?” He could feel the vein in the side of his neck throbbing. “Did you forget what runs through your blood?” He grabbed his jeans off of the floor. “You’re fucking Puerto Rican, baby. You have Indian, Spaniard, and African in your blood.”

  “I’m not African.”

  He pulled up his pants and smirked. “You need to look up your history, because right now, you sound ignorant.”

  “Excuse me!”

  He moved closer to her. “I’ve tried to talk to you about this adoption, and why I’m doing this, but you don’t want to hear me out.”

  “You made this decision without even discussing it with me.”

  He picked up his keys, phone, and wallet from the nightstand. “Monica, you’re not my wife.”

  “I’m your girlfriend.”

  He walked out of her room, straight to the front door and swung it open. “Did you ever wonder why you haven’t gotten a ring?”

  In one swift move her hand connected with his face. “Get out of my apartment; we’re through, and don’t come back this time.”

  He touched his cheek, stepping away in shock. She slammed the door in his face.

  Chapter Eight

  Javier navigated traffic on his way to meet Jazmine. His phone rang, and he glanced at the screen. He gently tapped his steering wheel with his left hand, and then slid it on.

  “Yes, Madre.”

  “Javy, que paso con Monica?”

  He sighed into the phone. He didn’t need his mother nagging him about his decision.

  “Why are you asking me? I know she already told you?”

  “She called me crying. Is it true?”

  “Yes Ma, I’m going adopt Jazmine’s baby. And no matter what you or anyone else says, I won’t change my mind. This baby needs me, and believe it or not, I need him, too.”

  “I wasn’t going to tell you what to do, I would never do that. I think what you’re doing is commendable, that’s the man I raised. But Monica is hurt; she wanted to give you a baby.”


  “Ma, I don’t want to get into it right now. I’m driving, I’ll call you later.” He pulled into the hotel. Jazmine stepped through the lobby doors. “Bye.”

  “Que Dios te bendiga, adios.”

  “Adios.” He slid it off.

  Parking the truck, he jumped out and placed his cell in his pocket.

  His heart skipped a beat as Jazmine strolled closer. Her dimples deepened when she smiled—it was mesmerizing.

  “Hey.” He opened the passenger door.

  She surprised him when she kissed his cheek, making his cock jerk. “Isn’t that the way latinos say, hi?” Her scent was sweet like vanilla.

  Javier took her hands in his, and then helped her jump up into his truck.

  He ran around the vehicle, opened his door, and jumped in.

  “Where are you taking me?” She placed her hands on her lap.

  He stared at her manicured nails as she pulled down on her sundress, and then glanced up at her. “Someplace we can talk in peace.” He pushed the START button, and the truck roared to life; shifting gears, they drove off. “Did you get to sleep last night?”

  Javier noticed that when Jazmine was nervous she tugged at her clothes. “Yes, I got about four hours of sleep.”

  “You need your rest.”

  “I’ll try to do better.” She stared over at him.

  He took his eyes off the road for a few seconds, and met her gaze. Jazmine grinned wider, and her left dimple got deeper.

  Javier turned his attention back to the road. Her smile was addicting, and he wanted to see her smile again. “As long as you try.”

  They chatted a bit, until they arrived at the Memorial Park.

  He helped her out of the vehicle. It was a chilly day. Beautiful red, orange, and yellow leaves littered the ground. She kicked a few as they strolled to an empty picnic table.

  Jazmine smoothed her hands over her arms and shivered. He could tell she was cold. Javier tugged off his jacket holding it up.

  She shook her head. “I’m okay.”

  Goose bumps rose on her arms. “You’re shivering.” He placed the jacket around her shoulders.

  Jazmine accepted it, and sat. Javier took the seat on the other side of the table, sitting in front of her. “So…” She stared at him.

  “I’ve been thinking of everything the agency offered you, and I want to provide you with the same things.” He held her gaze.

  “Javy.” Her full lips curled up at the corners. “You don’t have to give me anything. I’m also financially stable.”

  “I know, but you mentioned the medical bills.”

  “I’ll survive.” She locked her fingers together. “I’m still working. I’m just doing it from home and will perform some focus groups until your baby is born.”

  “I don’t want you to be burdened.” He was nervous about what he was about to ask her. His left leg quivered. “So, I have an idea.”

  “What’s your idea?” She leaned forward on her elbows.

  He leaned in too, reaching out to clasp her hands. “Marry me.”

  Her eyes widened as she pushed back, almost falling off the bench. “What did you just say?”

  “Marry me,” his voice raised, observing her surprised eyes.

  Jazmine started laughing, and then stopped when she looked into his eyes. “Are you kidding me?”

  She must have noticed he wasn’t joking; he was dead serious. It was the best arrangement. Javier tightened his grip on her palms. “Hear me out.”

  “Go ahead.” Her hands were moist even though it was chilly outside. She was nervous, too.

  “We’ll be married until you have the baby.” He leaned in closer. “All my dependents are covered under my health insurance.”

  “Tricare.”

  “Yes, you won’t have to worry about anything.”

  “You know what you’re asking me?” She pulled her hands away. "You live two hours away.”

  He drew his hands in and rubbed them together; the nip in the air was starting to get to him, too. “I was thinking if you said yes, you’d move in with me. You did say you work from home.”

  She pushed herself up and stood. “What about Monica?”

  “I told her.”

  She cocked her eyebrow, giving him astonished stare. “And she’s okay with you marrying me?”

  “Well, not exactly. She broke up with me.” He pressed his lips in a determined line.

  “Because of the baby?” Jazmine put her right hand on her hip.

  “Does it matter?” He stood, placing his hands in his pockets.

  “Well, yes. She might be a part of this kid’s life.”

  “It’s not looking that way.”

  “Maybe you need to tell her the real reason.”

  “That subject is closed. What’s it going to be?”

  Jazmine paced back and forth. “You want my answer now?”

  “Yes, I leave tonight,” he rubbed his hand together, “and I want to get everything together before I come back and get you next week.”

  “So soon.” She hugged herself.

  “No one has to know we’re getting married; you can see whomever you want. It’s only on paper; what are you afraid of?” Javier strolled next to her.

  “I’m not afraid of nothing, but you’ve caught me off guard.” The breeze made her tremble. “First, you shock me by telling me you want to adopt this baby, and now you want to marry me.”

  “This benefits us both. You won’t have to pay anything out-of-pocket. I’ll have the divorce papers ready to sign when he’s born.”

  “Javy, I don’t care about paying for the medical bills. I was just stating the benefits of the adoption agency that day.”

  “I want to be part of the last five months.” He pulled out a piece of paper from his back pocket, unfolded it, and pointed. “I’ve read on babies and what’s good for them last night. It says I should read and talk to him while he’s in the womb.” He gazed at her. “How am I supposed to do that if you’re here?”

  She started giggling. “You’re going to read to him.”

  “Yes.” He chuckled. “Maybe I’ll sing to him too.”

  “Just five months.”

  “We might not even need a divorce; we can file for an annulment, because we won’t be consummating our marriage.”

  She pursed her lips as if deep in thought. “Okay, can I give you my answer in a couple of days? Maybe you’ll come to your senses by then.”

  “Okay.” He shook his head, grinning. “Come on Jazz, let’s get you warm.”

  Chapter Nine

  They’d just arrived to his home from the courthouse. They were now, Mr. and Mrs. Martinez.

  He grinned as he opened the front door to his townhouse. “Mi casa, es tu casa.”

  Javier shifted forward, about to pick her up.

  “What are you doing?” She shuffled back and giggled.

  “Carrying you over the threshold.” He stared at her.

  “Stop being silly.” She smacked his arm.

  Javier moved quickly as he wrapped one arm around her waist and the other under her knees, picking her up.

  Her stomach roiled as if she had butterflies in her belly. She met his gaze, temporarily losing herself in his alluring eyes. “Javy, put me down.”

  He wiggled his eyebrows at her. She locked her hands behind his neck as he stepped into his home.

  Jazmine could feel her heart speeding up as he gently set her down on the wooden floor. Javier still had his hands around her waist. She stepped back, breaking their connection and looked around the living room.

  The walls were painted in olive green with beige trimmings. In the middle of the room, he had a brown, suede sofa, two matching recliners, and a mahogany center table with two small vases. A flat TV was mounted on the wall above a glass fireplace. There were shelves on the right with his military coins and pictures of his Chief Petty Officer pinning. There were plants in every corner of the room. She could see the kitchen from where she was standing
; it had all stainless steal appliances, and the stove was mounted in the middle of the island.

  I’m going to enjoy cooking, she thought, smiling.

  He took her hand and gently pulled. “Let me give you a tour.”

  They strolled over to his dining room. The walls were decorated in dark colors. The elegant table seated six, and in the middle, there was a bowl of fake fruits. On the wall there were two flags; one was a painting of an American flag and the other only had one star.

  “What flag is that?” She pointed at the one she didn’t recognize.

  “Really!” He smirked. “It’s the Puerto Rican flag.”

  “Oh.”

  “Come on, let me show you where you’ll be sleeping.” He grabbed her hand and strolled out the room.

  She followed, glancing at the pictures on the wall along the hallway. She pulled back, touching the frames with her fingertips.

  “Which one are you?” She pointed at the picture of two boys.

  “That’s me.” He pointed to the boy on the left. “And that’s my older brother, Jose.”

  She kept looking at the pictures.

  “That’s my abuelito y abuelita.” He continued to the door.

  “That means your grandfather and grandmother.” She excitedly grinned, happy that she remembered something she learned in Spanish class.

  He chuckled. “Yes, I need to give you some of my language lessons.” He moved ahead of her, opening the door to a bedroom.

  Jazmine passed by him and entered. She was in bedroom heaven; a blue comforter covered a California King sized bed with about eight pillows. The walls were decorated in blue, and beige colors. As she entered, her feet sunk into the plush rug. There was an office space toward the right corner, with a desktop and printer. Exactly what she needed to do her work.

  “Your house is lovely.” Her fingertips touched the wooden post on the bed.

  “Thank you.” He bent, picking up a pillow off the floor and placing it at the end of the bed. “I’m going to go get your things, make yourself comfortable.” He opened the door, leaving her in the room.

  She strolled into the bathroom, observing her surroundings. It didn’t have a bathtub, but the shower was huge with a sitting area.