Barely Breathing Read online

He placed his papers to the side and gave the man his full attention. “Misunderstanding. You knew what you were doing when you touched her.”

  “You believe her over me?”

  John stood. “Sophia wouldn’t lie about something like that.”

  Charles smirked, and shook his head. “I can’t believe you would cheat on Amy with her.”

  John gave him a sarcastic chuckle. “I didn’t know you cared so much about my wife.”

  “I don’t, but I’m tired of you and the others turning this law firm into…”

  “Finish what you were going to say.”

  He cleared his throat. “Jason, Andrew, and now you. You’re giving this firm a bad name.”

  John glared at him, feeling his nose flare.

  “You guys should open up your own firm, and call it the Interracial Law Firm of Anderson, Johnston, and Morgan.”

  He smiled. “Don’t sound like a bad idea. I’ll let them know.”

  Charles began to get red. “I was just kidding. My father would kill me if his best attorneys left his firm.”

  “Does your father know his son is a racist bastard?” John opened his door. “Get out.”

  Charles turned and left.

  I can’t believe the nerve of that prick. He slammed his door shut.

  ***

  Later on that day, Jerome called him.

  “What else did you find out?” He held his pen ready to write. Jerome had called him months earlier and told him the investigation was taking longer than he expected, but Terrell was not set to be release yet.

  “Like I told you before, Terrell Williams was sentenced to ten years for arson, drug dealing, possession, fraud, and the list goes on. I faxed you everything I found on him.”

  “What about Ashley?”

  “All of her files are sealed.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “It means whoever this Ashley Delgado person is, she has very powerful people helping her. I can’t find anything on her.”

  “Nothing?”

  “I called around to some buddies of mine, and they came up with nothing.”

  He put his hands through his hair.

  “Whoever your Ashley is, she doesn’t want to be found. Are you sure you want me to keep pursuing this? Because once I start digging, you may not like what I find.”

  “You’re right. Stop the investigation.”

  “I knew you would say that.”

  “When does he get out of jail?”

  “He won’t be getting out anytime soon.”

  “What did you do?”

  Jerome chuckled. “Nothing illegal. He made a bad choice and his parole was revoked.”

  “Thanks, man.”

  “It’s my pleasure. You can tell Ashley she’s safe for now.”

  He wished he could call her and tell her the good news, but after the night they’d shared, she’d made him promise he wouldn’t call or come see her anymore.

  They both knew the temptation was too powerful.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Yes, Helena?” John answered his desk phone.

  “John, I have Ms. Sophia Dean here to see you.”

  “I’ll be right out.” He couldn’t get the words out fast enough. He rushed to his office door and opened it. Sophia sat in the waiting area. Her hair was in a ponytail, and she wore a white T-shirt, jeans, and white Nikes. He just stared at her, thinking how beautiful and simple she was. She didn’t need make-up. Her beauty was inside and out.

  “Sophia,” he said and their eyes met. “Come in.” She stood, breaking eye contact, and walked past him into his office. “Helena, hold all my calls.” He closed the door behind them. “Have a seat.” She sat without saying a word, and did not look him in the eyes. He couldn’t stop staring at her. “This is a surprise.”

  She started playing with her hands. “I’m sorry for bothering you.”

  He sat behind his desk, not once taking his eyes off her. He couldn’t stop thinking about their night together. The way their bodies reacted to one another’s. “You’re never a bother.”

  She just sat there, still not looking at him.

  “Sophia, is this about what happened between us?” He moved to the side. “I know we said we wouldn’t see each other anymore, but I miss you.” He put his hands on his desk. “Your friendship means a lot to me.”

  “Your friendship meant a lot to me too, but that’s not why I’m here.” She finally looked him in the eyes. “There’s something you need to know.”

  “If it’s about the car—

  She put up her hand. “No, it’s not about the car, but I’m going to pay you back.”

  “You’re not paying me back.” He watched her.

  “I’m not here to argue with you.”

  “What is it?” he asked, concerned.

  She swallowed, putting her hand over her mouth. “Do you have a bathroom?” she mumbled.

  He shook his head. “Are you okay?” He got up and walked in front of her.

  She didn’t answer, but cast her eyes down as she swallowed, repeatedly.

  He took a deep breath. “Oh God, you’re pregnant.”

  She leaned forward, still not looking directly at him. “Yes. I’m pregnant.”

  He didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t prepared for this.

  Her eyes began to fill with tears. “I just thought you should know, before I took care of it.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I’m not keeping this baby. We didn’t mean for this to happen. We were just two people comforting each other.” She sniffled. “I can’t have this baby.” She began to cry.

  He pushed himself off the desk, kneeled in front of her, and took her hand in his. “It’s your body. I can’t tell you what to do, but please don’t have an abortion because you think that’s what I want.”

  “I have to do this.” Tears ran down her beautiful, chocolate cheeks.

  He wiped her tears away. “You don’t have to do this. We can work something out.”

  She smacked his hand away. “I’m not changing my mind. I have an appointment at two.” She stood.

  He thought for a second, and started doing the calculations. “How far along are you?”

  She clutched her purse. “Four weeks, but it doesn’t matter.”

  “It does matter.” He raised his voice, but tried to calm down. “You just found out. Give it some more time.”

  “I don’t need any more time.”

  “Why, because you’re afraid you might change your mind?” he asked with a stern voice. She didn’t answer, he sighed. “I’m coming with you.”

  “I can do this on my own.”

  He stepped in front of her. “We did this together, and if anything happens to you…”

  Someone knocked then swung the door open.

  “John.”

  Stunned, John and Sophia both stared at Amy. She rushed into his arms.

  “Oh my God, you’re okay. I found out what happened yesterday and hurried home.” She backed away when he didn’t hug her back. “What happened?”

  He gently pushed her away, observing her in disbelief.

  “Excuse me.” Sophia stepped away to leave.

  “Wait,” Amy called out. “Are you okay? I heard you were also involved in the accident.”

  “That accident happened seven months ago.” John could feel his veins throbbing in his neck.

  Sophia glared at her. “Yes, I’m okay, thanks to your husband.” She didn’t look over at him. She wiped her face.

  “He’s always the protector.” Amy grabbed his hand.

  Sophia looked at the connection between them, making John pull his hand away. “I hope you know what a wonderful husband you have. Don’t take him for granted.” She looked at both of them and excused herself.

  “What was that all about?” Amy watched him carefully.

  He moved behind his desk. “You’ve been gone for seven fucking months without one phone call to your son, and you show up here l
ike everything is okay.” He slammed his fist on his desk, startling her. “Well, it’s not okay! You can’t walk back into our life like you didn’t abandon us.”

  “John, I wrote you a letter explaining why I had to leave.”

  “Yes, you did, you wrote a fucking letter, instead of facing me.” He glared at her, feeling his face burn with anger. “But did you forget you have a son? He cried himself to sleep two weeks straight because he wanted his mom. Did you ever fucking think about him?” He stood in anger.

  “Of course I thought about Johnny.” She raised her voice. “That’s why I left to get help. I’m better, John. I can finally be the wife and mother I need to be.”

  “You destroyed everything I thought we built together.”

  “Don’t say that. I love you.” She moved in front of him.

  He laughed sarcastically. “Where was that love when you fucking cheated on me and killed our baby?”

  “John, I didn’t know if the baby was ours.” She took a deep breath. “I was a coward, and I took the easy way out. I will never forgive myself for that.”

  “You didn’t trust me enough to tell me the truth?”

  She was silent for a minute. “I didn’t trust myself. I didn’t want a baby with a man that I hardly knew, but I knew if I would’ve told you I was pregnant, you would’ve tried to stop me.”

  Is that why Sophia told me she is having an abortion? He took a deep breath. She needs to know she can trust me. I gave in too easy. Then he remembered what he’d told her months ago, that he didn’t want any more kids. I have to stop her. He powered off his computer, and grabbed his briefcase. “I have to go,” he said, passing by Amy.

  “We need to talk. I want you back!” she yelled.

  “I can’t do this right now.” He kept walking out the door. He still loved Amy, but right now, he needed to save his baby’s life.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Amy walked into Kay’s office. “What the hell is going on between Sophia and my husband?” She slammed the door.

  Kay was surprised to see Amy as she looked up from the file she was reading. “Welcome back, Amy.”

  “Don’t welcome me back. Tell me what’s going on between them.” She marched over to her desk.

  Kay arched her brow. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Sophia and John are friends. Why would you ask that?”

  “Because I walked in on them in his office, and they had a guilty look on their faces, and she had the nerve to tell me not to take him for granted.” She sat. “Kay, something is happing.”

  “Amy, nothing is happing. They went through something really traumatic together.” She looked at her. “They almost died.”

  Amy looked surprised. “I didn’t know it was that serious.”

  “It was.” Kay picked up her pen and started writing on the paper. “Amy, while you were gone, John’s father passed away.”

  “What?”

  “He passed away from liver complications,” Kay said, eyeing her.

  “That’s why he treated me like that today. I wasn’t here when he needed me the most.” She blinked back a tear. “He never got a chance to know his father.”

  “You were gone seven months, Amy, without a call to your family. That’s why he treated you like that. How would you feel if he had done what you did?” Kay glared at her.

  “I went to get help.”

  “And you couldn’t call.”

  Amy ignored her.

  “I thought so. So did you get the help you needed?” Kay asked.

  “I did. I’ve been sober for the seven months I’ve been gone. I want my family back.”

  “I really hope you’re not too late.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Sophia lay there, in tears, on the clinic bed , waiting for the nurse and the doctor to perform the procedure, thinking of the baby she thought she would never be able to have. After she’d been shot in her stomach, the doctor told her it would be nearly impossible for her to have a baby, and here she was pregnant, and she was about to end its life. Again, she was living her life to please everyone but herself.

  The door opened, and Sophia rapidly wiped her tears.

  The nurse was an older white lady with salt-and-pepper hair. She took Sophia’s hand in hers. “Sweetie, are you sure you want to do this?”

  “I have to.” She turned her face to the side.

  “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” the nurse said, rubbing her hand.

  “I just want to get it over with,” she whispered.

  “The doctor will be in soon.” The nurse checked the instruments.

  She cried a little more as the doctor entered. He asked her a few more questions, and then proceeded to administer the medicine for the pain.

  The doctor settled in between her legs, and the nurse began handling the instruments as they began the procedure.

  ***

  John ran into the clinic up to the front counter. “Where’s Sophia Dean?” he asked catching his breath.

  The receptionist behind the desk, looked up at him. “Who?”

  “Sophia Dean, she told me to meet her here,” he lied.

  “Sir, it’s against the clinic’s policy to give you any information.”

  “Please I just need to know if she’s still here?”

  The nurse must have heard the despair in his voice. “I can get fired for this but let me check.” She checked the records, and then she started hitting the keys on her keyboard, and moved the mouse. “You said Sophia Dean?”

  He nodded, “which room?” He asked staring down the hall.

  The lady stood. “Sir, Mrs. Dean already left.”

  He slammed his hand on the counter. “Damn it, I’m too late.”

  John walked out the clinic, to his car. “She needed me.”

  He jumped into his car, started it and drove off.

  ***

  Sophia sat on the bench in her bedroom, thinking of how her life had changed since the accident. She covered her face with her hands and cried for what was lost.

  She lifted her head when she heard banging on her front door. As the noise got worse, she panicked, and stood. She slowly walked over to her dresser and dug into the top drawer for her Colt 45. She slowly made it downstairs and pointed the gun at the front door.

  “Sophia, please open the door.”

  She took a deep breath; it was John. ”I’m coming,” she said, trying both to rush down the stairs and hide the gun.

  She made it to the front door and swung it open. She observed him for a moment. His hair was a mess, and his eyes were filled with sadness.

  “Come in.” She allowed him to pass, and closed the door.

  He stepped forward and wrapped his large arms around her. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

  She accepted his embrace, and hugged him tight. She needed this, a true friend.

  “I’m sorry…” He kissed her cheek. “I got there too late.” He moved back and cupped her face, touching her tiny mole above her mouth.

  She gazed at him with her teary eyes. “It’s okay.”

  “It’s not okay Sophia, I was in shock when you told me about the baby. You didn’t give me time to process the news, and then Amy walked in.” He released her face and turned his back to her. “Amy started talking, telling me why she did the things she did, and while she was talking, all I did was think about what you told me. The baby was innocent.”

  “What are you saying?” she asked, a little shaky.

  “I know I said I didn’t want another baby, but…” He turned and his green eyes showed the same emotion she felt: hurt. “Sophia, you didn’t give me chance to tell you not to kill our baby.”

  “John…”

  “That baby would’ve been a miracle.”

  “You don’t think I know that?” She took a deep breath. “But now you have so much to look forward to. Amy’s back.”

  “Yes, Amy is back, but that baby was innocent.” He placed his hand in his pocket. �
�She kept secrets from me, and that’s why our marriage is where it is now, but I will not. Baby or not, I’m telling her what happened between us.”

  She swallowed. “I understand. I would do the same.”

  “She wants to work on our marriage.” He moved away from her and sat on her couch.

  She sat next to him. “I think you should. You still love her.”

  Their eyes met.

  “Everyone deserves a second chance,” she said.

  “I don’t think I have it in me to try again. Without trust, honesty, and communication there’s nothing. We don’t have any of those.”

  “You’re right. Without trust, honesty, and communication, no relationship can survive, but you can built it from scratch.” She touched his hand. “We became friends.”

  He smiled. “In the last couple of months you’ve become my best friend, and it’s because you gave me all three.”

  A tear escaped her eye. “That’s sweet, but my point is, we started from scratch, and you can do that with your wife.”

  He squeezed her hand tight, but didn’t answer.

  She took a deep breath, releasing his hand. “It’s time for me and Cara to move on.”

  “I don’t want you to go.” He cupped her face. “I need you…”

  “You don’t need me.” She removed his hands. “I was a distraction from your pain.”

  He stared at her. “You really believe that?” She didn’t answer. “Sophia, it might have started that way, but you’ve become so much more. Even if you weren’t in the picture, I don’t think I could go back.”

  Sophia stood, a little bit shaky, walked to the door, and opened it. “Bye, John.”

  He got up and marched to the door, and turned to her. “What we shared was special.” He cupped her face to give her a feathery kiss. “I was fortunate to have shared time with you.” He backed away. “If you ever need me, I’m just a call away.”

  He walked out.

  Sophia slowly closed the door and cried.

  Chapter Nineteen